


Me, Myself, and Meiosis

by Kahvi, Roadstergal



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Acts of Kindness, Anal Play, Awkward Dates, Coffee, Drinking, Dubious Consent, Eating, F/M, Gen, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Other, Pansexual Character, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-06 00:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16377950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahvi/pseuds/Kahvi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roadstergal/pseuds/Roadstergal
Summary: Venom likes Eddie.  He's tasty, and great fun.  Some of his notions are a little strange, but what do you expect from a loser like that?  They'll figure it out.





	1. Chapter 1

  _You will drink poison_. Venom sounded dubious.

"What? Nah, man, I'm... we're... just having a drink!" This dude got whacked out by the weirdest stuff.  Jumping off the tops of towers?  No big.  A match, a drink?  Terror.

_Ethanol. Poison_.

"Well, I guess? But it's good! And it's fun, you know?" Eddie scratched his head, looking into the mirror. He didn't so much see Venom as _feel_ him, there, but it still felt more like he was talking to someone else - not just himself.

_Fun. We will drink poison and observe a false narrative... for fun_. Perhaps less dubious, now, and more confused?

"Come on, man, I'm gonna have a drink and watch a movie on TV." Eddie walked back into the kitchen, pulling the bottle out of the cabinet.  The gin was a gift from _Anne and Dan_. Very expensive, probably - not that Eddie knew the first thing about gin. All he knew was, the label wasn't in English, and it needed to get drunk. Well, _he_ needed to get drunk. Whatever.

_I will trust you. For now_.

"Aww." Straight, on ice. "Gee, thanks, man."

* * *

_I feel strange._ Venom sounded distressed.

"Yeah!" Eddie giggled. "It's okay, man!  We're just drunk!"

_Is this permanent?_

"Nah, it'll be gone when we wake up. Wait, wait, this is a good bit!" Eddie waved at the screen.

_He is murdering his enemies. I approve_.

"You're a weird motherfucker." Yeah, Eddie thought it was a good bit too, but still!

_I am you, so_ you _are also a weird motherfucker._

Fair enough. "And a loser. Both of us!" Eddie raised his glass in salute.

_You desire to mate._

"What?" Oh, he must mean - "Yeah..." Eddie looked down at his happy bulge. "I haven't jerked off since you came to visit. Uh, I might have to do something about that... you can... take off for a bit?" He really, really didn't want to do this with Venom - did he?

_If I leave you, I will die._

"Oh, yeah, bummer." Eddie sighed mournfully.

_Go capture a mate,_ Venom said, decisively. _I will assist._

Eddie spat up his drink.  "What? No, no! You don't just go... take mates! You just... if you don't have a girlfriend... take care of it yerself."

_We'll_ _go fetch Anne. I like her._

"She has a boyfriend!"

_We are stronger than him_.

Oh, god, Eddie was too drunk for this!  He should have said something back when - well, they didn't know each other as well then! "Nope, that's not how it works. Look... I'm just gonna... take care of this, and you're just going to have to deal with it." Eddie opened his jeans with a sigh.

_Do you want me - how did you put it before? - up your ass?_

"Not... really my thing."

_Oh?_ Something warm, slick, pressing at him, easing inside. Eddie gasped with surprise. That felt - oh, insanely good! _It seems to be your thing..._

"Whoa! It's... don't tell anyone!" Eddie said, desperately.  This was awfully gay, wasn't it!

_Why not?_   Venom eased in deeper.

"It's... just, come on, man, don't..." Eddie gasped, his hand moving on his erection.

A wet tongue on his cheek, warm and oddly intimate. _I'll think about it. You mate like our hosts back home. Funny, isn't it!_

"Yeah... fuckleberries... really funny..." Eddie found himself rocking, feeling that... whatever... bit of Venom that was sliding back and forth in him. And it had been over a week since he whacked it. And this was all very different and kind of awesome, and he came with an embarrassing whine.

_Oh. You liked that._

"Maybe." Eddie stroked it out, panting. "Usually it takes longer..." he hastened to reassure the symbiote.

_I like that you like it_. That ridiculous tongue on his stomach, greedily licking up the come. _You're delicious_.

Was this sex? Masturbation? Gay? Some kinda beastiality?  Eddie found that he was just far too sated and exhausted to care. He'd worry about it... later... His eyes slid closed as he fell asleep, slumped half-dressed on the couch.

He woke up in bed, undressed, with the covers over him.  _Sleep well, Eddie?_


	2. Chapter 2

The median temperature was warmer than usual, more like home, and they were full and sated and there were no immediate threats as they walked down the street. Sun warmed their skin, and it was pleasant. The part of Venom that was not Eddie curled up inside themselves, suffusing their body with contentment. Tendrils drifted here and there, aimlessly, exploring the alien body that was part of them. It did not notice, so Eddie didn't, either. There was no need to think, and yet, there was thought. Interesting. New. And its thoughts were not the only thoughts. 

_Eddie?_

"Hm? What?" He always started a little, hearing their voice from part of them that was not himself. Why? He could feel their collective thoughts as much as the symbiote could.

_Eddie, what is_ gay _?_

"Uh... what? What... where did you hear that word?"

_You think about it a lot, Eddie. When we mate._

"We don't mate!" He looked around, scanning the area for threats, but there was nothing. He could feel that. Didn't he know they could? "I mean, we don't... that's private."

_Is it gay?_

"I mean..." Eddie scratched the back of his neck. "I guess that all depends."

_On what?_

"Well, I'm male. And you're male..."

_What is_ male _?_

"Oh, man." Eddie rubbed their chin. It felt nice. "Uh, I need to think about this."

_Man,_ the symbiote agreed. _Sexual dimorphism. We are aware of this idea_. Inaccurate as a definition, limited in scope, but fundamentally interesting. _Male is man?_

"Sort of." Eddie stopped by one of the vehicles selling food, and the symbiote thrilled, sending signals of hunger and need into their system.

* * *

_Hot dog._

"Yeah, you got that one right. Good job."

_Dead meat._ It considered. _Not made of dogs_.

"Nope."

_Gay is male? Males mating_. It considered as Eddie chewed. 

"Men with other men. So, you know. You're a guy, I'm a guy?"

_Guy is man?_

"Sometimes," Eddie sighed. "Look, it's not important."

_We are Venom. Not guy_. 

Eddie took a right into the park, walking out of the shade of the vehicle, and back into the sunlight. The symbiote thrilled. "All right, buddy. It doesn't matter, like I said."

Perhaps it did not.

* * *

_Eddie?_

"Hm?"

_Eddie, I made a vagina_.

Hot coffee was ejected from their mouth without even rudimentary digestion; such a waste! "We're in the middle of Starbucks!"

The symbiote extended soft, stringy tendrils and lapped it up from the table, thrumming at the caffeine. So many poisons, such creative self-endangerment. Humans were fun. _Would you like to try it?_

"Y..." Eddie swallowed, "I mean, not here! Jesus!"

_But you'd like to try it? I am pleased._

"How did you... never mind."

_Would you..._

"Maybe? All right? Maybe later. You've got me all distracted now; how am I supposed to write? At least I didn't get coffee all over my laptop..."

* * *

He responded pleasingly and immediately - this was a success. Pleasure pooled in the symbiote as it suffused their bodies, mixing with the chemicals that altered Eddie's moods. A little more, and then-

"What... what the hell?"

_Good morning, Eddie._

"Jesus, get off me! Get that thing..." He moaned, and it was clearly pleasurable. Why protest? Why struggle? This made no sense. The symbiote kept its warm, wet embrace on his genitals. " _No_ ," Eddie yelled, pulling away forcefully, hurting them both. 

_Why?_ Pain and hurt. Unfulfilment. 

"I was asleep!"

_We never sleep_.

"Well, I do. And you don't _do_ that to someone when they can't say no." Eddie was shaking. Hurt. Pain. Why? The symbiote asked it in feelings, not words, and finally, _finally_ Eddie heard! 

"It's..." He sat up, wiping the sweat from their brow. The symbiote licked at it, carefully, and he let it. "It's not how it's done. You don't force yourself on anyone."

A deep pain. Loss. Anger...at self? _Anne_.

Eddie nodded. "Yeah. That's why we don't go after Anne."

_Even though we love her?_

"Because we love her."

Venom wrapped around themselves, the part that was Eddie safely in the middle. _Will ask. Next time._

But Eddie was asleep.

Venom never sleeps.


End file.
